Archive for the ‘Career’ Category

Can Integrity be Justified?

I am really wrestling with something tonight and I would like any and all of your comments.  I’m starting to wonder if I am the abnormal one here and should just learn to ‘go with the flow’ regardless of how that flow affects others as well as my own well being.

I’ve shared with you before here on this blog that I work part time for a company struggling greatly.  The new leader of this fledgling organization, (there are only 2-1/2 of us left) is a man who will tell you and everyone else he comes in contact with that he is a “man of his word,” and “filled to the brim with integrity.”  However, I unfortunately write that his actions are usually the complete opposite of what comes out of his mouth.  He lies to people, is presently in some severe conflict of interest situations that I think could end up in a court of law, and he caters to the will of the elite shareholders of our organization at the expense of the ‘everyday Joe’ member.

I know many people who exhibit similar qualities of this man, however I have never met anyone who so proudly states that he is filled with integrity, is honest, and loyal.  There is little he works harder at than justifying his ill-willed decisions and trying to talk others into seeing that they are correct and appropriate. 

It is now to the point that the stress of what I deal with on a daily basis is starting to physically affect me.  His emanating leadership style trickles down to me and the other employee left and we are to the point where we don’t disagree with our leader any longer or even offer an alternate suggestion-any idea other than his is not worthy.

So what do I do?  I want more than anything to have this situation come to an end but in these tough economical times, who I am to see the blessing of having a job as a negative?  And to be a bit more calloused, why should I even care?  I see people go through their careers not caring about their reputation or their organization and no matter how sometimes I envy that, I just can’t seem to leave the personal out of the professional.  

When your job, albeit part time, makes you physically and mentally ill, and when you’re put in a situation that you completely disagree with, is it just time to pull the plug and trust that God is showing you all these shenanigans for a reason?  At what point is my life my life regardless of the paycheck involved?

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Whose plan is it anyhow?

When is enough enough?  I’ve been personally wrestling with that question lately as have a couple of my co-workers, so I’ve been trying diligently to find an answer even though I know there is no one answer that applies to everyone alike and to each specific situation.

Yesterday, I caught up on a few episodes of Oprah and her “Best Life” series.  The show on spirituality touched on this subject a couple of times and one of the spiritual leaders on her panel commented that “we spend a tremendous amount of time resisting what is happening to us and we exert so much energy doing so.  This resistance causes us to lose power and our inner wisdom to go forward.”  An Episcopalian priest was also on the show and he equated crisis in our life to a crossroads.  “In every crisis,” he stated, “there  is the end of a world as we’ve known it.  Feel fine, however,” he urged,” because it’s a threshold for something much bigger in life than ever imagined.  Let the old die because the new is going to be better than ever  imagined.”

My Christian beliefs strongly tell me not to worry, (Matthew 6:11 25-34), not to be fearful, (Exodus 14:13-14), and to give everything over to God, not to make me empty, but so He can fill me to overflowing, (Mark 12:41-42).  All  of this I believe and I work hard to follow, but I can’t lie and say it’s always easy.

But with that being said, how do we know if God is telling us to move on or to stay and fight the battle a bit longer?  Here’s a current example from my life:  The company I work for has 2 1/2 employees left.  We were building a renewable energy facility that takes manure and food processing waste and converts it to natural gas.  Construction has been halted and we are in debt to our vendors and still need a lot of money to complete the facility to make gas.  We try and try and try to raise funds and/or obtain loans, but to no avail so far, and in my 9 month tenure with the company, we have done the proverbial  one-step-forward, three-steps-back routine.  Is God trying to tell us something and we’re not listening, OR is he making us fight tooth and nail for this inherently good project while teaching us many important lessons along the way? 

So how do we know what God truly wants from us?  Are we listening or are we too busy in our daily lives running hither and dither, perhaps to fill the void we created in our lives by not listening?

Whether in my career at this present time or any other situation I have encountered I hold steadfast knowing that whatever the situation is at the moment, I am not in control of it and that no matter what happens, whether it be to my immediate liking or not, that God’s decision is the right one and I will give thanks for it.  There’s not much that I know for sure at this time, but the one bit of peace and truth I do know is that I need to be a thinker and a doer while continuing to listen for what God calls me to do. 

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