Archive for the ‘writing’ Category

Just for Fun…

It has been a quiet week in Lake Wobegon, (kidding—I mean Buffalo, MN), where scrapbooking, writing, reading, and picture taking have been the focal points of the week.   In other words, CREATIVITY ABOUNDS!

Last night, Chris and I sat on the beach of Buffalo Lake and watched the sun set while debating the merits of the paper he was working on.  I still say I am right, but research proved to me last night that collegiate women athletes have a lower self esteem than non-collegiate woman athletes.  I would have thought that a woman at that level of fitness and dedication would be fairly self assured.

Anyhow, back at the ranch, we took Georgia to the lake with us to capture the essence of a peaceful weekend.  After some tweaking on picnik, here are a couple of shots.

Sunset 2-bw-focal

 

Sunset 1

 

Pumping Iron

Oh well, this one doesn’t depict the beauty of a sun setting over the lake but rather the beauty of a man always willing to make me laugh.  Can you believe that in our little cow-town of Buffalo, MN, they have workout equipment like this sitting around the park?  There’s a stairstepper which looks out over the lake and equipment for arms, legs, back, shoulders, etc.  Unique.  Progressive.  Never in this lifetime will you find me using it!  Awkward!

Clear the Vessel

Yesterday, I blogged about my inability to have one simple creative thought that could be put down on paper or entered into my computer’s new journaling software program.  Try as I might, nothing but crap transferred from my body to the paper.  As a runner, we call these downtimes “junk miles;” you’re just going through the motions, admitting that your effort is producing junk.  Not to worry however, this too, shall pass.

It Passed…

My one hour massage yesterday afternoon was the tip of the iceberg for what I needed-refueling of the vessel of my soul and spirit.  8 weeks of nonstop running and taking care of everyone else’s needs had left me not only physically askew with a knotted back and neck, but had worn my right brain down to the core. 

Now feeling relaxed and calm, and with a quieted spirit, I moved through my day with an open mind and a watchful eye.  I again saw beauty in the common element and awe in rarity.  Thoughts jostled for position with each other competing for space in my mind.  I was becoming engaged again in life.

I was inspired and not alone…

I received a number of comments from my social networking sites yesterday encouraging me to plug along knowing that the emptiness and void I was feeling was common.  Thank you to everyone who told me that they too, share at times in what I was going through.  I really needed to hear that I was not alone.

 What happened…

As the sun set on the lake tonight, I watched the hues in my writing room change from a bright and invigorating shade of goldenrod to ones with a softer and more muted pallet.  The cool spring breeze floated into my space and reminded me of the newness of life all around me.  Nothing smells as beautiful as a crisp, spring evening.  I had to stop and close my eyes to take it all in; to try to be whole and complete in my surroundings.  Slowly, I picked up my notebook and began to write.  Not junk, but first thoughts, feelings, joys and sorrows.  It was pure and had purpose.  It was again my spirit on the page.

 And what have I learned?

I have learned a lot by consciously wandering through this period of grayness that had taken hold of my work.  The more I forced change, the stronger my void held.  It wasn’t until I stepped away, replenished a tiny bit of my being, and solidified the fact that I was not abnormal, that my mind opened and what was natural to my being was allowed to come out and play again.

I need to not push the envelope.  Rest and revitalization are important.  Clear the vessel.  Replenish.  Listen and follow your body and mind-they always know the truth.

I am human, (and sane), after all

For what seems like an eternity now, I have been trying soooooooo hard to write something-anything-but the words just won’t get out onto the page.  I even set down my notebook and pen, (my personal choice for writing), picked up my little laptop, downloaded Windows Live Writer as well as some journaling software thinking that maybe my blockage had something do do with my tools and not my brain.  Unfortunately, nothing has worked.

Could it be stress keeping me from getting the words out of my noggin and onto the page?  “No,” I told myself, “that would be just too cheesy of an excuse.”  It was definitely me.  All me.  I was a dumb butt, an idiot, and I was definitely not made to write.

Then, by sheer fate, (not really because I don’t believe in “fate” but rather in “faith-more on that in another post), I got my sorry ass out of bed this morning, waddled into my office wearing my tattered bright pink, terrycloth bathrobe, and I checked my RSS feeds for updates.  There were only two, but one of them in EXACTLY what I needed.

Let me preface what I am going to do next by saying that I am really not up on the ins and outs of social networking, (if that’s even the correct acronym to use).  I don’t know if it is acceptable for me to copy someone else’s post into my blog even if I do give them the props for doing so.   So, in an effort not to anger anyone here, I won’t copy the post but rather refer all of you to a GREAT blog post by  Rosanne Bane.  Her post lifted the weight of the world off of my shoulders, (OK, not that big, but close!), this morning.  I see now that my inability to write anything more than a grocery list is not necessarily atypical.  I have been stressed beyond belief, (graduating a kid from college, getting her on a trip to Norway, USA hockey commitments up the wazoo, wedding planning for the other daughter, Boston, a broken foot, household chores, and let’s not forget my “little” job), and this stress just could be the reason I can’t get any word on the page.

Rosanne’s post was great, but the question remains: what should I do to fix the problem?  She isn’t giving out solutions until her next post so I will have to wait for those words of wisdom.  However, I suddenly recall my Ideas Intensive teacher, Sarah Tieck, who taught us of the importance of balance.  If one area of life is depleted then we get a wee bit catawampus.  For me, I need REST in order to fill the well for my CREATIVE PROCESS & RESTORE MY ENERGY.  I learned this in class, I wrote it in my notebook, we spoke about it numerous times, BUT I didn’t have a point of reference to use it so it didn’t stick.  Now it is stuck.  I get it.

Rest.  Relax.  Clear the vessel. 

With Mother’s Day coming up this weekend, I definitely know what I’m going to do!  Look out for what happens next if this works; I have a ton of ideas boppin’ around in my head and they will get out!

Oh, the places your writing can take you…

I now know what Natalie Goldberg means when she talks about just sitting down to write “first thoughts” and letting the pen take you anywhere it deems necessary.  I began my morning writing time in the present moment and by letting my mind take complete control, I found myself remembering back to high school band.  From high school, I digressed even further to the 4th grade when I was the new girl on the block and unfortunately made up a story about being a baton twirler in my previous 9 years of life.  I wanted so badly to be the drum majorette for the homecoming parade so I lied about my past experience. 

Unfortunately, this experience caused a competition between me and another 4th grader that lasted way too long.  It wasn’t really a competition because she was “perfect” in everything she did whereas I focused more on the social aspect of my education and extra-curricular activities.  Unfortunately, there was a bigger reason besides the competitive nature of this girl.  I didn’t find out until years later, but as I wrote about her morning, it occurred to me that maybe she was competing with me on a level much different than I would have imagined.  Maybe, just maybe, my life, along with all it’s chaos and spontaneity, was something that she desperately wanted and that perfectionism and being top-dog wasn’t necessarily such a spot to be coveted.