Posts Tagged ‘Mother’s Day’

My Mother’s Day

A reflection on Mother’s Day:

I am 43 years old.  We had the first of our three kids when I was 20. The second child arrived 10 1/2 months after the first, and child #3 entered this world 7 years later.  Chris and I were college juniors when Adara was born and college seniors when Kory showed up.  Yup, two twenty one year old “kids” graduating from college with two kids of their own.  Needless to say, I was the only graduate that year who pulled that one off.

_DSC0221Fast, (and I mean fast) forward 23 years.  Adara and Kory  are college graduates on there own and Mikey is in 10th grade.  Where does the time go?

Since motherhood showed up on my doorstep in a blaze of fury, I have worked full time, attended graduate school, mothered 3 overly active children, and kept up a home, (I’m not looking for accolades here so please bear with me.). 

It came out in conversation with my wonderful husband a few nights ago that I won’t let myself have any downtime.  While growing up, my father made this out of the question, so once I moved on and had my own family, I, too, threw the notion of rest and relaxation under the bus.  I was supposed to keep going-like the Energizer Bunny.  Needing time to regroup only meant I was weak.

Boy, was I ever wrong.  Now, with all the baggage still hovering, I am trying with all my might to not feel guilty for resting.  My job is 1/2 time at best right now, so I am writing and learning.  But because of this 1/2 time status, I feel guilty, so I don’t write like I should; I “try” to clean the house, do laundry, etc., but mostly I just sit and spin.  I was talking to my awesome mother-in-law yesterday, and she told me to just quit even the 1/2 time gig, get a cleaning lady, and focus full time on myself and my writing.  Wow, can I keep her for another 23+ years?Yup, feet propped up and twittering

So, here’s my visual mantra: Mother’s Day 2009.   I worshiped this morning, I read from my new book club’s selection, I ate glorious food prepared and served to me by my family, and I rested.  Yes, I rested and I loved it.  Slowly, if I work hard, the guilt associated with my resting will go.  With all the love and support I get, how can I fail?

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