Posts Tagged ‘writing’

I am human, (and sane), after all

For what seems like an eternity now, I have been trying soooooooo hard to write something-anything-but the words just won’t get out onto the page.  I even set down my notebook and pen, (my personal choice for writing), picked up my little laptop, downloaded Windows Live Writer as well as some journaling software thinking that maybe my blockage had something do do with my tools and not my brain.  Unfortunately, nothing has worked.

Could it be stress keeping me from getting the words out of my noggin and onto the page?  “No,” I told myself, “that would be just too cheesy of an excuse.”  It was definitely me.  All me.  I was a dumb butt, an idiot, and I was definitely not made to write.

Then, by sheer fate, (not really because I don’t believe in “fate” but rather in “faith-more on that in another post), I got my sorry ass out of bed this morning, waddled into my office wearing my tattered bright pink, terrycloth bathrobe, and I checked my RSS feeds for updates.  There were only two, but one of them in EXACTLY what I needed.

Let me preface what I am going to do next by saying that I am really not up on the ins and outs of social networking, (if that’s even the correct acronym to use).  I don’t know if it is acceptable for me to copy someone else’s post into my blog even if I do give them the props for doing so.   So, in an effort not to anger anyone here, I won’t copy the post but rather refer all of you to a GREAT blog post by  Rosanne Bane.  Her post lifted the weight of the world off of my shoulders, (OK, not that big, but close!), this morning.  I see now that my inability to write anything more than a grocery list is not necessarily atypical.  I have been stressed beyond belief, (graduating a kid from college, getting her on a trip to Norway, USA hockey commitments up the wazoo, wedding planning for the other daughter, Boston, a broken foot, household chores, and let’s not forget my “little” job), and this stress just could be the reason I can’t get any word on the page.

Rosanne’s post was great, but the question remains: what should I do to fix the problem?  She isn’t giving out solutions until her next post so I will have to wait for those words of wisdom.  However, I suddenly recall my Ideas Intensive teacher, Sarah Tieck, who taught us of the importance of balance.  If one area of life is depleted then we get a wee bit catawampus.  For me, I need REST in order to fill the well for my CREATIVE PROCESS & RESTORE MY ENERGY.  I learned this in class, I wrote it in my notebook, we spoke about it numerous times, BUT I didn’t have a point of reference to use it so it didn’t stick.  Now it is stuck.  I get it.

Rest.  Relax.  Clear the vessel. 

With Mother’s Day coming up this weekend, I definitely know what I’m going to do!  Look out for what happens next if this works; I have a ton of ideas boppin’ around in my head and they will get out!


Creativity Abounds

The creative juices are really flowing in me for the first time in years and years and years, and in typical Joni fashion, I want to act on each of them right now!  OK, I know that’s not possible, but it’s really hard for someone with my aggressive personality to step back, plan, and take things in baby steps.

Last night was my second class in Ideas Intensive at The Loft, and this class has been both very good and very bad for me all at the same time.  I’ll call it my split personality class; the good witch versus the bad witch.  The good witch from the perspective that it has loosened me up to a point where I am starting to let the ideas in my mind take root and manifest themselves into something that perhaps I could work with.  The dad witch from the aspect that it has enticed all of these ideas and there just aren’t enough hours in a day to get everything I want to out on paper and that frustrates the living poo out of me.

So, one step at a time if I must.  For now, my goal is to do some brainstorming and clustering/mind-mapping.  This was a technique that we discussed last night which was new for me, and I could truly see the benefits of it versus the traditional outline I had been working on.  My goal is to spend the week letting the ideas flow to my cluster so that by next week’s class, I have a pretty good idea on the things I want to focus building on.

On another note, I have a new baby.  Yes, Grandma Lainy, a new baby.  Her name is George, and she Nikon D90.  Oh, she is soooooooooo beautiful!  I love her.  I really, really love her.  It shouldn’t be legal to love an inanimate object so much, but I do.  Sometimes, I hear her talking to me.  We are getting better acquainted with each other being she’s only been here since Saturday, but already she has stolen my heart.  It won’t take long for her and I to become soul-mates, that’s for sure.  So, as the time progresses and I again start updating this blog with my creative adventures, you will all get to meet her and to relish in the beauty she transposes for us.  I promise to share the fruits of her labor with you.  And if you want to know how she got her name, it is from Georgia O’Keeffe who, in my opinion, was the most creative and free women I have ever heard about and who every time I think of her conjures up beautiful family memories of my trip with Adara to Santa Fe and of the art exhibit in Minneapolis with Michael.  This will inspire me.

Off to write…

Starting a New Year with Peace (for the first time)

It’s New Year’s Day.  Another beautiful chance to wipe the slate clean, forgive ourselves for the things we hold inside, and move toward a new day with a resolve to live each minute to the fullest.  Truly, this is not only a New Year’s Day opportunity, but an opportunity we have for every new day and each precious minute that lies within it.

What a gift we all have before us!  We have the chance to do or not to do, and unfortunately, many of us choose not to do. 

For years, I sat back in contempt and anger writhing away because I was so unhappy.  My unhappiness stemmed from my career and the decisions I made with it, and unfortunately, the unhappiness didn’t remain contained within my own world but slipped over and adversly affected my family and my friendships.  Please don’t let this happen to your life.  I can tell you from experience, it is not worth it.

As this new year begins, I tell you that I am 99% sure I will be losing my 1/2 time job in no more than a month, and I am really at peace with this.  I couldn’t have made the decision to walk away on my own to begin a new life, so I know this is  God taking care of me and moving me to where I am supposed to be going.  Unemployment compenation will kick in and financially, it will be tight, but I promise to make it worth it.  I will not lose a minute of this time wasting away my body or mind.

The 3rd week in January, I start a writing class through The Loft in Minneapolis.  I am so stoked!  It’s a class on writing a memoir and it specifically is designed to help the student remember parts of the past that they want to write about.  I loved the course description because they will be teaching what I seem to be missing.  I have had so many life experiences that people tell me I should write down and put into a book, but when I get to the point of trying to recall them from memory, the slate is blank.  If, by chance, I do remember and write, they just don’t seem to hold the emotion of the experience.  That’s probably typical as no words can every truly portray the actual event, but mine don’t come anywhere close.  Because of that, I will try something instead of giving up.

The 2nd week in January, I am starting a Yoga class through Community Education.  The old me would have jumped into a new studio, purchased a 6-8 week course and hit it 2-3 times a week; basically I would have gone overboard.  This new me takes things in baby steps now and savors each precious, little movement toward the finish line.   

Where I end up and with what career or lifestyle remains to be seen.  All I know is that I will open my mind to hear and my eyes to see and I will see the ride as a blessing.